Has Santa got a hearing loss?

Life’s not a doodle for Santa, but it used to be a lot more complicated. Not because he ran things badly – after all, the job spec requires a self-motivator and someone able to manage their time – but because he didn’t want to face the truth that he had age-related hearing impairment and should wear a hearing aid. He figured he’d be able to get through without too much problem.

Things went okay for many years, but then he started to miss and confuse words. One young girl asked for pony only to open a Sony TV on Christmas morning – she wasn’t too upset, her old TV was rubbish, but her parents ended up spending a bundle on a horse.

Not as unfortunate as the lad who’d said he wanted to find a Wii on his bed on Christmas morning and missed lunch as punishment. Many times Santa just got up the chimney before the police, who’d been called by the family to investigate a noisy intruder, grabbed him. Deafened people aren’t aware how much noise they make.

Eventually an elf broached the subject with Santa after a lot of youngsters got pieces of fruit instead of mobile phones. With his digital aid Santa hears much better and present confusion is a thing of the past – so how come last year my stocking contained an outsized leather belt and not the Batman utility belt I asked for?

Merry Christmas to all out there.