Don’t assume anything

Communicating, but not realising the person had a hearing loss

I made a deaf person struggle to understand me. Unforgiveable. Sue and I went into an upmarket tea shop seeking overindulgence. The very welcoming male assistant (probably assistant manager) backed off while I spoke with Sue about which fancy gateau she wanted (mixed berry mousse, for the record) backed up with finger spelling.

Then I ordered at the desk and sat with Sue. Cakes and drinks arrived and we set about demolishing them.

As we ate I noticed the chap speaking with customers and after a while he came and chatted with us. I, as always, made sure Sue could see my mouth while I tried to keep my eyes on the chap. Not easy due to the seating arrangement, but no excuse. It wasn’t until he’d gone that Sue told me she’d been trying to indicate to me that he was wearing an in-the-ear hearing aid and struggling hard to understand me.

I felt awful and suddenly recalled him “pardon”- ing a customer who I’d heard from the other end of the cafe. Obvious signs I’d overlooked. I’d been concentrating on Sue and missed how the chap was (on reflection) turning one side of his head towards other customers.

When I paid, I apologised for mumbling. He said it was alright, but I don’t think so – how can I expect others to respect Sue’s needs when I get it wrong? We chatted for a while and he was fine, but I still felt a rat. The fact is that the better someone with impaired hearing copes with communication the harder it is for others to notice that problem. I’ll never again assume anyone can hear me, no matter how well they appear to cope.