Look and Learn
Learning to communicate with someone who has hearing loss
Obvious, but different people and different age groups handle deaf communication needs differently. There’s a 17 year old lad Sue sees most weeks, she’s lost count of the times she’s (pleasantly) said she’s deaf, but still he’d talk to her behind her back.
Yesterday he greeted her with a smile and a wave then stood in front to chat about his horse – he’d ridden it to his Prom. The lad also used simple hand signs as he told her how pleased he was to have finished his exams – there’s a clue to his forgetfulness, he’d been preoccupied with education rather than not caring.
The family who own the farm where we keep Sue’s horse have always been the most considerate deaf communicators you’d want, we’ve known their three children for years and the youngsters have always taken Sue’s hearing problems (as well as spin and drop attacks) with concern but without question; to them that was just how Sue’s health had evolved.
When the youngest daughter was about nine she had a friend with her a lot who, no matter how many times Sue explained she couldn’t answer questions about horses if she couldn’t see the speaker’s face, still span round as she spoke with Sue.
The youngster was just being a kid, she was unaware. But the daughter, who’d also told her friend to look at Sue, had enough one day and grabbed her friend by the shoulders as she swivelled on the spot while asking Sue questions and held her facing Sue. It was done playfully, but what got me was the youngster’s concern that Sue shouldn’t be inconvenienced.
Now, to contrast, I’ll mention a member of Sue’s family and friend. Family member has a communication ‘foible’ that drives Sue to distraction, when the family member wants to attract Sue’s attention she pokes her, hard, with a finger. It’s probably because she’s seen me attract Sue by using a couple of fingers, but I stroke her arm rather than dig. Either way, Sue’s eyes could start a fire when the finger pokes.
The friend recently thought she would tell Sue, who was upstairs in the back room, something. Mode of communication was repeated shouting! That friend had know Sue longer than the youngster at the farm, but still she thought increased volume was the solution, family member and I kept saying “Sue can’t hear” to no avail. Volume just went up, ruining our hearing whilst Sue remained blissfully unaware.
It seems to me that some of the more mature people who moan on about inconsiderate youngsters could take a lesson from their sources of discontent. And you don’t want to know what I think about the older generation who use shopping trolleys like assault vehicles.