Chatterboxes

Hearing loss and group conversations

Spontaneous, multi-source, conversations are intimidating for Sue and a concern for me. If you’ve got good hearing in both ears and can’t understand why that should be so, please, switch TV on with volume at half level, then do the same with a radio and a cd player (substitute other sound producing devices as needed). Now blank the sound out in one ear (cover with hand – don’t stick anything in it) then stop most the sound from entering the other ear with the other hand. Now have someone talk to you.

Now you get the picture.

Three of my friends always drop in to my fathers if my car or bike is in the drive. Rather like a mobster movie, friend’s families are considered part and parcel of our friends. My mates drink tea, eat cake (and/or biscuits, crumpets, tea cakes) and include my father in our conversations – if, that is, we haven’t been distracted by something in my workshop (I see my father everyday and having my workshop there makes sense). I’m lucky, my friends are good people.

They are also considerate with Sue and interested in how she’s doing. When we went to dinner with one couple they visited the restaurant first to select and reserve the quietest table with best lighting (They are very good people). But what they can’t control is the difficulty for Sue when more than one of us is talking at a time. It’s not that they’re excluding her, far from it, but with Pa contributing to conversations things gets overactive and too demanding for Sue. I try to keep Sue up to speed with what’s being said, but invariably it becomes too much for her and she’ll (for instance) check emails on the laptop.

I can’t stress enough that no one is being deliberately inconsiderate; it’s simply that to understand how to hold conversations with hearing impaired folk you need to live with one. These excitable conversations don’t take place very often, so we don’t impose rules on speaking one-at-a-time. Sue doesn’t want to (her words) spoil things and I don’t feel I can keep stopping the flow of conversation, although I do slow it down. Any comments on how I could achieve a balance for Sue?