The Way We Were
Our deaf/hearing relationship over 26 years
Last week turned a little retrospective for me due to two photos and some serious loft clearance. The 26 year old photos showed me with dark hair, a waist and my mate’s girlfriend. Sue wasn’t in the pics, but I was with her back then. In the loft I found bike clothing from that era which I’ll never fit into again, although I wouldn’t want to as bike clothing has improved so much – I still prefer a black leather jacket and jeans, although my jeans now have Kevlar lining and knee pads.
Let’s see, what else has changed over 26 years? Most obviously, Sue’s health. Back then we went DTP (down the pub) a lot, went to see bands, saw films on the big screen, dined out and in general socialised. I know I’ve mentioned that before, but I’m revisiting those thoughts because I’ve been comparing what we did with what we now do and considering the changes.
Do I regret how our lives have altered so much? And, on a purely personal level, do I have any unhappy thoughts about all that. Well, yes, obviously I have no happy thoughts about Sue’s health or the changes she’s had to come to terms with. But, and I mean this sincerely, I don’t have regrets about the things we can no longer do. We did those things, we went to those places and we drank that booze. It’s not a ‘coming to terms with age’ thing, it’s more that I’m content with a quieter life with Sue. I can still join my friends, have fun, and get silly. I’ve just become content with how Sue and I live. I wish wholeheartedly she could still do what we did, but focusing on what we’ve lost would do no good.
Many, many, people still argue how different the battle of Waterloo and the subsequent history of Europe could have been if so-and-so had arrived earlier or later. Why? History is history and cannot be changed. In the same way our lives are where they are and all we can do is accept that or become bitter and twisted. If I was that bothered I could change my life by saying goodbye to Sue. I don’t want to because I’m happy where we are, together.