Table Manners
Hearing loss, lipreading, signing, fingerspelling & eating
Signing is going well, Sue’s gaining confidence in her group as she increases her vocabulary. Even so, the first exam a couple of weeks ago was a bit of a tribulation. Not that it was hard so much as there was so much to remember to include – certain questions to ask and subjects to cover.
What threw Sue was the camera person. Everyone knew it would be taped for the examiners (how else can a visual exam be graded) but Sue hadn’t given the recording method much thought, just assumed it would be a camera locked-off on a tripod.
As Sue put it; she entered the room, saw two seats almost touching (to get examiner and student in shot) and a stranger, at which point her fingers swelled up to bananas. We’ll know how she got on in a few weeks, because of the hard work she’s put in I’m confident there’s a pass, if not she can retake with experience of what to expect.
Eating with a deaf person is…………………….. well, different. Bad manners as it may be, hearing people talk and eat. To avoid a display of what’s being munched we put a hand over the mouth or turn away. Try that with a deaf dining companion. The obvious answer to the etiquette dilemma is to eat and not talk, but that’s not the way humans are made, and why shouldn’t Sue and I chat when we like!
We’ve got it sorted. I finish my mouthful of food before speaking and Sue helps out by waiting until I’ve just shovelled a forkful in before asking a question! She watches, waiting for an answer, while I go into megamunch mode for a quick swallow. She’s especially good at getting me with that last bite, you know, there’s not quite enough for two mouthfuls but too much for one, so have a go at one. As the mouth closes a question is posed and so begins a routine of chomping whilst trying not to choke. “No rush”, I’m assured, but Sue, naturally, waits for me to answer by watching for a reply. I feel compelled to respond and end up with tears in my bulging eyes.
Signing with dining’s interesting. I’m still at the very basic signing level and have asked Sue to correct me when wrong so I can try to learn through repetition. Now instead of lip speaking and finger spelling the first letters of words I’m trying to sign when possible. Try all that with over a plate of pie, peas and mash (onion gravy for me, none for Sue). It would make a good juggling act as eating tools, napkins (I’m always aware of the possibility of facial food in my facial hair) and hands wiz around as the food cools.
Apart from an All Day Breakfast at Morrisons we haven’t eaten out since Sue began classes. Will we feel awkward or embarrassed signing in public? Never. I’m delighted we’re making the effort to communicate.