Painting a Gloomy Picture

I’m not commenting on how David Hockney chooses to lead his life. I mean no offence and respect his opinions and his options.

I’d heard Hockney speak before of his severe hearing loss and how he struggled to the point of preferring to avoid people. last week he was interviewed on Radio 4’s news programme, Today, and said how he now rarely leaves his home because of (my interpretation) the difficulty of understanding people. He was very negative about the difficulties of conversation with his level of hearing loss and he’s decided it isn’t worth the effort.

Again I’ll stress; it’s his life which he should lead as he wants.

My concern is that others with impaired hearing might learn of Hockney’s preference for semi-isolation to struggling in social situations and decide that if a very successful person can’t manage then why try?

Sue avoids ‘events’ but will have ‘eat outs’ with two good friends – oh, and me, but I don’t join them as that’s her socialising space. Those close friends have taken the trouble to find out what makes eating and gossiping with Sue easier – note, I meant easier and not easy.

These have become occasions to look forward to rather than dread.  Without deaf-awareness most folks don’t get past speaking slow and loud, they’re not being inconsiderate, just don’t know what works best.

I asked Sue for her thoughts on isolation being better than socialising. She understands how that can seem preferable but stressed that lip reading helps make socialising less daunting and that isolation is a destructive process.

Rather than shut themselves off I’d ask people to check out Hearing Link and other hearing organisations for advice on coping with social events. There is advice and help out there and for us that started with Sue’s Hearing Therapist and was finessed by Hearing Link.

I honestly believe that problem sharing works best for those with impaired hearing because it can be done via a keyboard and not face-to-face, until the time is right.