Downs & ups

Haven’t been away, just a case of no pc. What was supposed to be an easy repair turned into a shopping trip.

I’ve tried to keep a positive view on things here; if someone is visiting these pages then they probably need reassurance. But there is a negative side to being positive – that new visitor to Hearing Link who has been trying to be supportive to a partner who’s become hard of hearing or the deafened visitor who been trying to cope with not hearing. They click on these pages and read how Sue and I are leading a jolly existence hardly troubled by hearing difficulties. That can make anyone more unhappy due to the very understandable thought – ‘I’m trying, I’m struggling, I’m not sure I’ll cope and these two seem to sail through each day. I’ve got a long, hard, time ahead of me’.

So here’s the facts, not seeking sympathy, just because I want to be honest. Sue’s been having a hell of a hard time. What little hearing she had seems to have deteriorated. We’re hoping it’s due to the frequent changes in air pressure, but that’s more a hope than an expectation. It wasn’t that Sue could hear conversations, just that she ‘received’ sounds; losing those noises is painful and scary and brings back all the early memories of becoming deaf.

Signing classes have been very hard going. I hope she won’t hate me when I say how she came out of school one night and broke into tears because she’d found the evening confusing and frightening due to having no idea what was going on around her.

What did I do to put things right? Bugger all. There’s nothing I can do apart from rub her arm as we drive home and hug her when we get indoors – don’t hug at 70mph on the Mway, only make matters worse.

I encouraged Sue to text the tutor about her difficulties, Sue did and felt a little better for opening up. Last week’s school night was a bit easier.

So there are the real facts of our life. There’s no magic cure and things aren’t always going to go well. But I won’t give up and will always try to make sure that Sue never feels alone. That’s no fix, but it helps.