And How Does That Make You Feel? Part 2.

So, my turn came and a lot of what I’d intended to say had been included in the previous talk, it was adlib time.

I opened with how proud I am of Sue’s achievements and that we’ve been together for 30 years but aren’t married because I don’t like to rush into things. As I spoke I looked across the people in front of me and noticed a look on one person’s face I’m very familiar with – a lipreader in action.

I asked if I was doing okay for her and apologised for the facial hair. Sue doesn’t want me to shave (she knows about my weak chin and saggy jowls) and, she says, she’s only known me with a beard and would have problems lipreading me clean shaven.

But for strangers, the young lady in front of me, it can be a difficulty. I was embarrassed when she said the tash was a bit of a hindrance and said I’d finger spell and use some signs. But she is a lipreader and anything else would be a distraction. So tried to sit on my hands and make sure I ‘pointed’ my mouth at her.

Afterwards I chatted with a couple of attendees and was horrified to learn that some hospitals don’t have Hearing Therapists any more. That’s terrible, the HT and Audiologist were lifelines for Sue and I dread to think how others cope without the care we were lucky to have. If not for Sue’s HT then we wouldn’t have discovered Hearing Link!

Perhaps that’s why Audiologists are getting more involved with rehab for deafened people – good for them, their knowledge will make a lot of lives easier. And, if a report I saw yesterday is true (didn’t have time to read it thoroughly) hearing loss is set to increase – up from one in six to one in four) there’ll be many more folk looking for help and understanding.

I’m really pleased to say the lipreader took time to talk with me. I spend a great deal of time with Sue but talking with strangers who are deaf is the only way I find out what I need to improve. I usually feel slightly nervous when speaking with deaf people, but not with the young lady at UCL. For a simple reason, she was doing all the work. Not good on my part. I enjoyed her company very much; we agreed that cars are too quiet and that lipreading in cars is difficult. She told me how she asks the driver to move the mirror so she can see lips and so read them.

She was even kind enough to walk me to the tube station, she didn’t want me to get lost or walk under a bus.

It’s all very well to have good communications with Sue, but I mustn’t become complacent. Successful deaf communications with strangers is the only way to improve. And, on that theme, the only way to have any comprehension of what it’s like to be deafened is to take the deaf experience for more than an hour or two. I think it should be mandatory for all hearing partners to spend a day with earplugs and tinnitus sounds in their ears.

Extreme? Not if you care. I did that for half a day, outdoors in the street as well as indoors, and it helped me understand a little of what Sue lives with 24 hours a day, every day. Though I knew I’d be able to go back to hearing in a few hours, so it’s not the same.